One Broke Girl
by lobstereverywhere
Summary: Maxoline AU: Max takes a job working at the Caroline Channing's mansion with much reluctance
1. Chapter 1

_**Max**_

There was a chilling breeze coursing through the air as I made my way to the subway and I tried to tighten the loose button on my thrift store jacket but ultimately failed, so I stuffed my hands in the pockets trying to keep from getting frostbite or something. I could see the subway sign and sighed as contentedly as I could because at least I'll be inside for the next half hour. But then then I remember who I was going to work for this early on a saturday and that just makes me want to stick a pen through my eye or have sex with the hobo perched up on the stair leading to the subway...Actually, I think I have.

'Dan?' I asked stepping down about five steps. 'Dan Samuels?' He tilted his worn out face towards me.

'Well, as I live and breath it's Max Black!' He exclaimed with the most cheerful tone that he could muster up.

'What are you uh what are you doing here Dan?' I sat beside him, trying to ignore the pungent smell coming from him. 'I mean, last time I remember you were in art school' There was a dark shadow that crossed his eyes, he dipped his head down and in his voice became almost a murmur.

'I think you know what happened Max' his tone was bitter. I didn't have an answer for him, because I did know. This could've been me if it weren't for Earl two years ago, once I got that job at the diner and he was there for me and I don't want to sound corny, but he really was like the Dad I never had. Because if he wasn't there, I would be the crackhead begging for money on the subway.

'Right, well I gotta get going Dan, I'll see you around' I stood up leaving a five dollar bill I found in my pocket on the ground.

'See ya Max' I made it to the bottom of the stairs and eventually got on the carriage. All through the journey I couldn't help but think about, despite how crap I think my life is, I could've ended up much worse. It also makes me slightly grateful to have gotten this job. Working for Caroline fucking Channing won't be that bad, surely. She'll just be like any other spoiled rich girl, she'll just be like Peach, selfish, arrogant, self-obsessed, narcissistic...

Maybe I should just quit.

****No. No that's stupid, it'll just be for two months and I need the money. Two months till Peach comes back from her holiday, though I doubt you can call two months holiday, to Barbados. Before I knew it I was at my stop and only a few minutes from the Channing mansion. I stepped out into the cold and made my way, dreading the next two months.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Caroline**_

Sitting alone at a restaurant without any hope that my company is showing up is the last way I wanted to spend my Friday night. Oh who am I kidding, when Dad said he'll definitely turn up this time because he 'missed spending time with his little girl' I did believe him and I knew he'd end up canceling for, most probably, work. But here I am sipping water at _Kujols, _the stupid three michelin starred restaurant that Dad suggested because as he said 'only the best for my best girl'. You think I'd be used to this by now, the constant disappointment, abandonment, but no. I still feel the same feeling bubbling up, it starts of at the top of my stomach reaches all the way to the throat then I get the knot and then the tears. My phone vibrated and I read the inevitable text message.

_Have to cancel, sorry busy working_

_-Love Dad_

I grabbed my purse and rushed out because I didn't want anyone to see me cry, I didn't want anyone to film it and put it on youtube or something. I walked swiftly out and regretted parking the car five minutes away from the restaurant. I was full on crying at this moment and things were getting blurry and I kept bumping into a few people.

I climbed into my car. Thankful for the blacked out windows, I cried out every last tear, determined to forget everything that happened tonight. The drive back was quicker than I thought so as soon as I went through the front door I cried out for Angela, my assistant.

'Angela I have had _the_ worst night, draw me a bath' I shouted assuming she'd be in the living room. But she wasn't so I tried the kitchen. No luck, figuring she'd be in the study I walked up stairs and barged into theroom. But when I did, I did _not_ expect to see what I saw. Her legs wrapped around my so called boyfriend's neck. _Great my night just got worse. _

'William! Angela! What the fuck?' Upon hearing my voice they scurried off of each other.

'Caroline! Wh-what are you doing here?' William asked standing up and pathetically covering himself up.

'It's my fucking house, William' I crossed my arm and stared waiting for an apology I knew I wasn't going to get.

'Uh, listen Caroline, it isn't what it looks like' He started but I cut him off.

'What does it look like. William.'

'Well uh-'

'Save it, I want you out of my house' I stumped out of the room and on the way out I shouted back 'And Angela you're fired!'

* * *

The next day I was woken up by Nina, the housekeeper, knocking on my bedroom door.

'Miss Channing? Mrs Peach Landis is here to see you'

Peach was the last person I wanted to see. It was weird, when something bad happened in my life Peach was the first to know and the first to visit. She was both determined to help me and gloat in front of me. Dreading facing her, but knowing she wasn't going away, I got up and climbed out of bed.

'Just show her to my room Nina'

I stood up suddenly and there was a heavy pounding that pulsed through my head. Must've been the scotch that I downed like water last night. Alright, so I only remember drinking two glasses, what can I say, I'm a light weight.

'Oh my gosh Caroline your apartment is super cute! Is it new?' She looked around in amazement.

'No Peach, you've been here like a dozen times' I sat back on the bed because this headache wasn't getting any better.

'Oh. Whatever, listen I heard about you and William and I came by to see if you were ok' Her tone was a little sympathetic but her haughty voice was clouding it.

'Yeah I'll be ok, shame though, lost a perfectly good assistant over it' I grabbed my phone and pretended to scroll hoping Peach would take the hint and leave.

'Listen Caroline I have the perfect solution to your problem!' Nope, of course she can't take a hint.

'What problem Peach?' I sighed.

'Well you need a new assistant right? Well I have one, here take her number. Her name is Max, she's the twin's babysitter and she's amazing!' She handed me a piece of paper with a number. 'Listen I have to go, it's Brangelina's christening and I have to go pick out their shoes' She left slamming the door shut which did _not _help with the hangover.

'Whatever, I'll get someone to call her'

* * *

**A/N: So I managed to update this story! I was wondering if I should continue it, if you could drop me a review that would be great :) **


	3. Chapter 3

****_A/N Thank you for the reviews! Here is a longer chapter and sorry if it took awhile :) Enjoy, I do not own these character._

* * *

_**Max**_

The Channing apartment was, of course, lavishly decorated with modern furniture and shiny artsy things that were probably more expensive than my whole apartment. What am I saying, I know they're more expensive than my apartment! I was waiting in the living room, the maid told me to take a seat but I didn't really want to so I just stood, because for some reason I thought as soon as I got used to the luxurious way of living, I'd want to stay for ever. I know that sounds stupid because who's going to get used to something within a minute, but I've always been like that, don't get used to anything good because eventually it'll get taken away from you.

'Miss Channing will be five minutes' The maid interrupted my thoughts. I gave her a quick nod. I looked back at the door, it wasn't too late to leave. All I had to do was just walk out that door. Then I don't have to take shit from princess Caroline, don't have to wait on her every stupid need. I guess I am only going to be her assistant... Why does she need an assistant anyway? It's not like she does anything... Then all of a sudden I heard a voice...

'Oh my god it's you!' The voice belonged to Caroline Channing.

'Holy shit it's you!' I exclaimed as soon as I turned around and saw her face. I knew her.

* * *

_**Three days ago...**_

'Hey Johnny!' I shouted making my way through the crowded bar. 'Give me a beer' I said when I finally got to the bar and got his attention.

'Hey Max, what are you having?' He asked, he seemed kind of out of it.

'A beer dude, I just said so' I couldn't help but chortle.

'Oh right, sorry Max, I'm a little distracted at the moment' He seemed a little shifty, looking around the bar.

'Johnny? Johnny?' It took awhile to get his attention. 'Johnny? What's the matter?' He grabbed my arm all of a sudden and dragged me through the back door of the bar and into the alley behind the bar. 'Johnny! What's going on?' I was starting to get worried.

'Max, I hooked up with this crazy chick last night and I think she's coming to kill me!' He blurted out quickly.

'Oh my god, seriously? That's what you're freaking about?' I burst into a fit of laughs.

'Max! This is serious, she had a fucking gun and everything!' He started looking around the darkly lit alley, the sun hadn't gone down quite yet so the street light's hadn't come on. 'So this morning, I was getting dressed, trying not to wake her up. I accidently slip on something and she woke up and...and...ALL HELL BROKE LOSE!' It was hilarious to see someone like Johnny who's always cool, lose his cool. 'Well anyway, she's shouting at me saying stuff like "I'm gonna hunt you down and when I do I'm gonna feed you to the dogs" and when she went to get her gun...I bolted out of there! Now I'm scared she's gonna find me...AND KILL ME!'

I burst out laughing again 'Oh my god Johnny! This could only happen to you I mean-' I was cut off by Johnny putting a finger to my lips.

'Shh..did you hear that?' He whispered.

'Hear what?'

'Shh not so loud! Oh my god Max she found me! How the hell did she find me!' And with that Johnny just left me standing in the alley all on my own...great...thanks asshole. I saw a shadowy figure stumble and fall to the ground.

'Uh hello? Are you alright?' I edged towards the figure. When I got a little closer I could see it was a woman. She had her knees drawn up and her head buried between them, she was groaning quiet loudly.

'What's wrong with you? Are you ill, drunk or did someone stab you?' I asked in a nonchalant tone because you get used to people getting stabbed when you go to a bar like this regularly. She didn't answer me, instead she made even louder groaning noises and I should've known this was going to happen but I couldn't think that fast and before I knew it a thickish warm liquid covered my boots.

'Oh! Oh! Jesus fucking Christ!' I shook my boots frustrated trying to get the sick off my boots but ended by gagging when a drop of it landed on my arm.

'I'm a little bit drunk' she said in a croaky voice.

'Yeah no shit! Oh and they were sort of new boots!' Well at least it was washable.

'Oh I'm so sorry' She slurred. 'I-I never do this kind of this. Bu-but when you find your boyfriend's been banging your PA and your Dad would rather be with his blackberry than you, you're more than likely to end up in a-' She hiccuped. 'in a state like this'

'Oh yeah, your life sounds very hard' I muttered as I started to walk away, but I was stopped by the muffled sobbing of the blonde girl. I would have ordinarily walked away but knowing what she's feeling because I've gone through it was the worse thing. It was as if all those feelings were flooding back. I guess I thought if I helped her, the feelings would go away. So I got her up, took her to one of the backrooms in the bar. I hate feelings.

'Sit right there and I'm gonna go get you some coffee, okay?' I sat her down on a old stool in the storage room. The room was cluttered with junk and it didn't help the very low lighting, I tripped over a few things on the way out and the blonde giggled every time. Usually that would've pissed me off, but weirdly I found it cute.

Johnny wasn't too busy when I reached the bar so I asked him to make me a coffee. I decided not to tell him about the blonde, figured she didn't really want any more people seeing her like this. When I went back into the room the blonde woman was slumped on the stool. She looked to be asleep but all of a sudden she let out a very loud hiccup.

'Jesus christ I nearly dropped your coffee!'

'Awwwww' She drew out 'You got me some coffee'

'Yes, now shut up and get it in you' I gave her the coffee and pulled out a dusty stool from the back and sat down next to her. 'What's your name anyway?'

'Carol-Carmen...My name is Carmen' She said making is very obvious she was giving me a fake name.

'Yeah, whatever...Just hurry up and drink that coffee' She took a small sip and hiccupped loudly again. This routine continued for a few sips before I couldn't take it anymore. 'Oh my god! Right stay still I'm gonna get rid of your hiccups' I walked up stood behind her. 'Okay so breath in when I tell you to' I wrapped my arms around her hips, just below ribs and pressed lightly down on her tummy. 'Now breath in and hold your breath for thirty seconds okay' She did what I asked and I swear I could hear her heartbeat get louder, what was weird though, my own heartbeat was getting faster and faster, maybe it was because I was touching a stranger who refused to give me her name.

'Uh, excuse me' The woman snapped me back from the trance. 'I uh I think it's been thirty seconds now...and oh my god, my hiccups are gone!' She said cheerily.

'Um yeah' I withdrew my arms hurriedly.

'Hey I didn't catch your name' She said.

'That's because I didn't give it to you' I walked out of the room fast determined to forget the weird incident.

* * *

_**Present**_

'Well I'll be damned! Caroline Channing was fucking pissed in a bar in Williamsburg! That is something you see once in a lifetime, I guess I got lucky' I laughed but stopped when I realised the horror on her face.

'You think that was funny! That was the most humiliating moment of my life!' She screeched. Wow she is a whiner.

'Alright, I'm sorry' I said sincerely, well a mock sincerely tone.

'Yes, well I am sorry you had to see me that way. But seeing as you were very good in a crisis, I'm willing to hire you' She said in a very emotionless tone.

'Wait, it's that easy?'

'Um yes, I need a PA and you seem desperate so'

'Uh excuse me? Desperate? Lady I'll have you know I am very desperate and I will take that job!' I said, because I honestly do need the job and working for the Channing's has got to be more entertaining that working for Peach.

'Great' she gave me a trademark Channing smile and I'm not going to lie, it really does brighten one's day. 'So I'll see you here at eight o'clock tomorrow'


End file.
